Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purpose #areas #population #business #economics

Due to

surge

Correct article usage

the surge

show examples

in population, many

people

think that the space for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

can be utilised for building houses and developing

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

. Personally, I believe that

this

is not the solution, and

this

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

the environment and health of the

people

badly. To start with, gardens are the places, which is the green area and provide fresh air for survival.

In other words

, it plays a vital role

for

Change preposition

show examples

maintaining our ecology. If

people

use

this

place for making houses projects, it will be

Change the article

apply

show examples

disastrous for the environment, when it comes to protecting from

greenhouse

Add an article

the greenhouse

a greenhouse

show examples

For instance

, a study reveals that the greener area is decreased by 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the

last

20 years which affect the temperature of the earth. Needless to say, the effect of

this

concern on our mother earth is far-reaching indeed.

Moreover

this

phenomenon will

also

deteriorate the health of

people

as they will find no place to spend their leisure time.

Furthermore

, parks are the source of providing fresh air so it plays

Change the article

show examples

essential role

for

Change preposition

show examples

maintaing

Correct your spelling

maintaining

good

Correct article usage

the good

show examples

health of

people

. To conclude,

although

building residential housing is important, I think that it should not be in place of public or private gardens.

Submitted by Er.raman4 on Wed Feb 23 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

202 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.