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Band 3.5

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purpose #areas #population #business #economics
Due to
surge
Correct article usage
the surge
show examples
 in population, many
people
 think that the space for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 can be utilised for building houses and developing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. Personally, I believe that
this
 is not the solution, and
this
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 the environment and health of the
people
 badly. To start with, gardens are the places, which is the green area and provide fresh air for survival.
In other words
, it plays a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 maintaining our ecology. If
people
 use
this
 place for making houses projects, it will be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
disastrous for the environment, when it comes to protecting from
greenhouse
Add an article
the greenhouse
a greenhouse
show examples
.
For instance
, a study reveals that the greener area is decreased by 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the
last
 20 years which affect the temperature of the earth. Needless to say, the effect of
this
 concern on our mother earth is far-reaching indeed.
Moreover
,
this
 phenomenon will
also
 deteriorate the health of
people
 as they will find no place to spend their leisure time.
Furthermore
, parks are the source of providing fresh air so it plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
 health of
people
. To conclude,
although
 building residential housing is important, I think that it should not be in place of public or private gardens.
Submitted by Er.raman4 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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