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Band 5

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #environment #government #responsibility
First of all, I believe that every human on
this
 earth must be responsible for the
environment
. I have read in one article that human is the only living creature on earth that destroy the
environment
. Humans are too greedy, they excavate almost all the natural resources for their own sake. Some of them
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
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 take responsibility by carrying out these activities with the principle of sustainable energy, yet, some of them still do not care at all. In my view, individuals should be responsible for their
environment
. If they can not do something big to save the earth, at least, they can do something small
to
Change preposition
for
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 their surrounding.
For instance
, individuals can start to sort their waste for recycling, use public transportation to
minimalize
Verb problem
minimise
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 air pollution, and many more.
However
, the
government
also
 play a big part in protecting the
environment
. In my country, even
there
Correct word choice
though there
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 are regulations that aim to protect the
environment
, the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 still
breaking
Wrong verb form
break
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 the rules. To show that, there is a regulation to not litter
into
Change preposition
in
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 the river, but, some households still do
this
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 some big factories still do
this
. It seems to me,
my
Correct word choice
that my
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 country's
government
 does not take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental problems as a serious problem, so they still give leeway.
Furthermore
, since my country's literate and educational rates are still low I think
that is
 one of the reasons why the city still breaking the rules about the
environment
. Because they do not know the consequences. In conclusion, it is both individual and
government
 responsibility to take care of the
environment
, but not in the same scope. Individuals can take action against their surroundings.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 the
government
 should take action from the root to build a foundation for environmental awareness.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the main topic and opinion. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final opinion. Also, maintain a clear and structured sequence of ideas throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the opinion is not clearly stated in the introduction. Make sure to present a clear opinion in the introduction and address both views throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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