In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

In my opinion, an egalitarian

society

is one in which everyone has

thesame

Correct your spelling

the same

rights and the same opportunities. I completely agree that

people

can achieve more in

this

kind of

society

Education is an important factor with regard to personal

success

in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

to pursue a university degree. In a

society

without free schooling or affordable higher education, only children and young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning opportunities, and they would

therefore

be better prepared for the job market.

This

kind of inequality would ensure the

success

of some but harm the prospects of others I would argue that equal rights and opportunities are not in conflict with

people

’s freedom to succeed or fail.

In other words

, equality does not mean that

people

lose their motivation to succeed, or that they are not allowed to fail.

On the contrary

, I believe that most

people

would feel more motivated to work hard and reach their potential if they thought that they lived in a fair

society

. Those who did not make the same effort would know that they had wasted their opportunity. Inequality,

on the other hand

, would be more likely to demotivate

people

because they would know that the odds of

success

were stacked in favour of those from privileged backgrounds. In conclusion, it seems to me that there is a positive relationship between equality and personal

success

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the scale of globalisation today, it would be of unquestionable benefit to have a single world currency. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.