IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #services #information #tasks #development
These days, the communities urge to have an instant result to things,
such
 as services,
information
, and tasks. I think that there is one factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 condition.
Furthermore
, I have a strong agreement that
this
 situation is a positive development for us. The reason for
this
 instant habit is the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 technology and
service
 businesses that made everything provided in less than a minute. We can get any
information
 in a second by scrolling
our
Change preposition
through our
show examples
 phones, like the updates
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the USA presidency.
Moreover
, there is an excessive number of services so that we do not have to be bothered by doing a complex task.
For example
, the Writing9.com website helps us in doing IELTS writing exam practices by scoring our
essay
Fix the agreement mistake
essays
show examples
 with artificial intelligence. I suggest that
this
 is a positive phenomenon because it increases our work efficiency. The fast rate of
information
 will push our
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to be done quickly.
For instance
, a project manager is able to create a project charter in a short time because the person can download a template from the internet.
Additionally
, we are able to finish big activities by collaborating with external parties. To illustrate, in developing our company's staff, the human resource department can hire professional coaches to
put
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 awareness about working diligently in the
staffs'
Change noun form
staff's
show examples
 minds.
Second,
it may develop the country's economic condition as it opens more opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
service
 transactions. The engagement of people happens.
Consequently
, more individuals or groups need external services. In the case of home
service
, if someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 owns an apartment is
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
show examples
 to clean the room, he/she may order a cleaning
service
.
Thus
,
this
 can help more humans to have a job. In short, the instant state of mind happens because of the development of our technologies. Even though some individuals may see
this
 case with a negative mindset, I have to agree that
this
 situation is good for us.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your examples are more relevant to the prompt, and make sure they directly support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using cohesive devices more effectively to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and fluently.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: