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Writing Samples
Band 5

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #companies #factories #employees #countryside
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Quite often large companies located in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
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 centre in sky-scrapers or big factories buildings and
this
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 cause traffic and housing problems. Some
people
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 propose as a solution to move
such
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 organizations to the countryside. Personally, I agree that
such
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step
Correct article usage
a step
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 could solve some issues but potentially
also
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 could cause some other so let’s look at
this
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 a little bit closer.
Firstly
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, traffic issues sourced from
disproportion
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the disproportion
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 of
transport
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 communications throughput and amount of
people
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 travelling to/from
work
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 in certain hours. So relocating workplaces to the countryside
also
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 will require
well-organised
Correct article usage
a well-organised
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 transportation system to prevent traffic in that area. The big difference in constructing modern
transport
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 solution in
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city
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the city
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 centre and a suburbs is that there is much more space at
new
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the new
a new
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 place and no limitations with historical buildings and existing communications.
Therefore
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transport
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 question may be solved
this
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 way.
Secondly
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, housing
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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tightly
Add a missing verb
are tightly
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 connected with
people
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's travels during the workday. During the day and after
work
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people
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 usually experience needs in shops, cafes, cinemas and other cultural/entertainment places which usually located in
city
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-centre and sometimes unique. In
this
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case
Add a comma
,case
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 it looks like not completely possible
separate
Change preposition
to separate
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central
Correct article usage
the central
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 area of a
city
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 from living areas and working places.
Thus
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 to solve crowding issues in
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city
Add an article
the city
a city
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 it’s required not only move large companies outside the
city
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 but
also
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 create well-
organazed
Correct your spelling
organized
transport
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 system to allow
people
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 travel fast and easy from home to
work
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 and entertainment places.
Summarising
Change preposition
To summarising
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, for some cases relocating big organizations for sure will help to rebalance the load and keep central historical areas preserved. Still, if it’s possible to enhance existing
transport
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 communication
then
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 it should be considered as an option while nowadays new opportunities like remote
work
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 became available.
Submitted by casualuser on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • housing problems
  • countryside
  • large companies
  • factories
  • employees
  • urban areas
  • land availability
  • relocate
  • stimulate economic development
  • challenges
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • rural areas
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