Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or diasgree?

It is argued that primary level education should include music, art and drama along with
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
usual
syallabus
Correct your spelling
syllabus
.
This
essay agrees with
idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
show examples
because
this
builds up a strong base from childhood itself and helps in identifying one's passion. Introduction to the music, art and drama field along with education from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age helps to build up
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
base.
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
mind is like a piece of clay, more of exploring nature that really
culture
Change the verb form
cultures
show examples
and shape with strong roots. By the time they grow bigger their skills will get sharper and can perform great in future. '
For
example'
Correct your spelling
example
show examples
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of schools in the capital of Nepal have upgraded their curriculum with
artistic
Replace the word
arts
show examples
education and are conducting various competitions based on it. Apart from regular primary subjects, extracurricular activities including drama, art and music
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to identify child passion. Each of the
child
Change to a plural noun
children
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their own talent as some could be good at
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
whereas other could be better at extra activities. Providing
this
kind of platform helps them to find out their strength. '
For
example'
Correct your spelling
example
show examples
, Pritam Acharya from Nepal at a very young age became a master in singing; a spotlight of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Lil's Champ Indian Reality Show, 2019. In conclusion, teaching artistic subjects with regular subjects from a primary level really cultures a strong base and gives
a
Change the article
the
show examples
sense to identify what they are interested in.
Submitted by susmitabhusal71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: