Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

The discourse regarding the purpose of studying in higher

education

becomes a compelling topic these days because numerous individuals state that it assists them to reach their dream job in the best position.

However

others

, including me, deny it since their

knowledge

and experience is not only for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for

society

This

essay will explain both arguments through some examples.

To begin

with, getting a degree through tertiary

education

will help

people

to gain the best and highest position in their job and earn a huge amount of money. Most

people

are motivated by these opinions,

for example

, some Indonesians. There is a stereotype among citizens during studying in the university which improves their life, especially in a work-life, as long as they pursue a qualified degree.

Thus

, the higher the background

education

, the more prestigious their career.

On the contrary

others

assume that pursuing higher

education

is not only for themselves

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for their

society

. As

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

people

will always need

others

to help them. Because of

this

phenomenon,

people

ought to share their

knowledge

and experience during

study

Add an article

the study

a study

show examples

in the university by being a speaker in a seminar or workshop or educating underprivileged children,

for instance

. By doing those contributions, at the same time, it saves our

society

from stupidity and jobless citizens for future generations in the long term.

Furthermore

, it means that their

knowledge

is applicable

for

Change preposition

show examples

society

As a result

, their time, experience, and

knowledge

are worthwhile for

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

movements, not only for their personal life. To sum up, many

people

today argue that the goal of learning in university is obtaining a better job, while

others

disagree with

this

statement since as human beings, the impact of

study

Add an article

the study

show examples

is supposed to be much more balanced between our needs and the public.

Sun Feb 27 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can a lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?