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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The discourse regarding the purpose of studying in higher
education
Use synonyms
 becomes a compelling topic these days because numerous individuals state that it assists them to reach their dream job in the best position.
However
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,
others
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, including me, deny it since their
knowledge
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 and experience is not only for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for
society
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.
This
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 essay will explain both arguments through some examples.
To begin
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 with, getting a degree through tertiary
education
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 will help
people
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 to gain the best and highest position in their job and earn a huge amount of money. Most
people
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 are motivated by these opinions,
for example
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, some Indonesians. There is a stereotype among citizens during studying in the university which improves their life, especially in a work-life, as long as they pursue a qualified degree.
Thus
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, the higher the background
education
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, the more prestigious their career.
On the contrary
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,
others
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 assume that pursuing higher
education
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 is not only for themselves
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 for their
society
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. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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,
people
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 will always need
others
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 to help them. Because of
this
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 phenomenon,
people
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 ought to share their
knowledge
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 and experience during
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
 in the university by being a speaker in a seminar or workshop or educating underprivileged children,
for instance
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. By doing those contributions, at the same time, it saves our
society
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 from stupidity and jobless citizens for future generations in the long term.
Furthermore
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, it means that their
knowledge
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 is applicable
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
society
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.
As a result
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, their time, experience, and
knowledge
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 are worthwhile for
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society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 movements, not only for their personal life. To sum up, many
people
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 today argue that the goal of learning in university is obtaining a better job, while
others
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 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement since as human beings, the impact of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 is supposed to be much more balanced between our needs and the public.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • specialized knowledge
  • lifetime earnings
  • intellectual curiosity
  • personal growth
  • transferable skills
  • social mobility
  • cultural understanding
  • societal advancement
  • global challenges
  • diverse perspectives
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