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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed,rather than work for a company or organisations. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In
this
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 twenty-first century, the public prefers to work in their own world rather than working in a particular department. From my perspective,
although
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 it is a form of independent working, socializing skills might have a major reduction. It is true that having a job with themselves as the leader or boss brings a non-dependent method of employment. Considering a real-life example, if a random person is under the control of his/her CEO, they are more likely to be fearful or an individual without freedom, when compared to the person who is working at home with their materials.
Therefore
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, the community who are self-employed do not want to show the outcomes to their heads.
Hence
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, more and more people select their own
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 to maintain their financial and day-to-day crises. One of the main advantages
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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of the issue is decreasing the chances of socializing. In a prominent nation
such
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 as the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
for instance
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, in a survey, it was found that persons who are working in their own homes are likely to be introverts.
Subsequently
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, opportunities to learn new things from different communities might be degraded.
Thus
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, recently, focusing on the connections with people as a primary criterion for evaluating each person, for the above-mentioned category, self-working people are more preserved ultimately.
To conclude
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, even after self-working improves our own passion for work, chances to meet new individuals have a fall since they are staying at home
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Thence, in my opinion, both are acceptable
according to
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 the community's needs.

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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