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Band 2.5

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens have a healthier diet. Others, however, believe that individuals should take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #citizens #diet #individuals #responsibility #health
In contemporary society, for individuals to have a healthy
diet
, partial
people
 suggest that
government
 should distribute more resources and administrations to
this
,
such
 as revising policies to
this
. Meanwhile, others stand that citizens ought to be more responsive to
this
. From my personal perspective, attention
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 citizens’ healthy
diet
 should be paid by both
government
 and individuals. On the one hand,
authority
Add an article
the authority
show examples
 of
government
 to citizens is much more convincing.
For instance
,
publish
Wrong verb form
publishing
show examples
 the importance of
diet
 to children by adding
nutriology
Correct your spelling
trilogy
 into pupil’s teaching material is able to strengthen
people
’s cognition of
significance
Correct article usage
the significance
show examples
 of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
. In general, public advertisement has a higher authority to
people
,
thus
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should do more for
this
.
Besides
, releasing policies for
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 to enforce or encourage citizens to have a healthy
diet
 is
also
 an effective method.
For instance
, setting
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
 of oil usage or setting of nutrient level.
On the other hand
, individuals should
also
 act for their own health and
diet
. Having a healthy
diet
 per se is beneficial for
people
 their selves,
thus
,
people
 should concentrate on
this
.
Furthermore
, motivation from
people
 themselves is more likely to drive them to have a healthy
diet
,
instead
 of passively.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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