Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of a high school programme ( for example working for charity, Improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programme #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

The world has become a safer place due to the volunteers. There is a debate between people as the free volunteering activities should be a mandatory of high school programs as

charity

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a charity

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, improving the neighbourhood or coaching the youngsters for sports. I totally agree with

this

statement and it will

elaborate

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be elaborate

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this

essay.

To begin

with, The future wellbeing of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is

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show examples

thh

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the

hands of kids and education

centers

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centres

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are the places which are crafted children towards that aim. By imposing to engage social services, Pupils are gradually

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

generous. For

instant

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an instant

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, ‘

Greata

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Great

Greta

Thunberge’, a

15 year old

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15-year-old

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student who was appeared against global warming has begun a remarkable influence

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show examples

the

community

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community's

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wellbeing.

As a result

this

, many organizations reduced their mal-activities which are related to global warming.

On the other hand

, the

present day

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present-day

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pupils are being under stress due to the heavy workload at school at

collages

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colleges

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. In order to happen

this

situation, they become more unhealthy by affecting severe diseases. To illustrate, less

eye sight

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eyesight

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, strain and even

diabetics

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diabetes

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also

affect

for

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apply

show examples

the kids. To overcome the strain that children faced nowadays

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

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of charitable works are essential. Since

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apply

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the daily routine is

subjected

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subject

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to change and the community works

gives

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give

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the mental health to them simultaneously. All in all,

the

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apply

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charitable works to be

compulsory

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a compulsory

the compulsory

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thing in

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the collage

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Correct your spelling

college

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collage

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college

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syllabus whereas pupils encourage to engage in social wellbeing as well as to improve their mental and physical health. As I truly agree with the statement and it is proved in

this

entire essay.

Submitted by nadee124 on Fri Mar 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

altruism
social responsibility
cultivate
mandatory
detract
academic pursuits
forced labor
ineffective efforts
voluntary participation
autonomy
impactful engagement
bridge social divides
fostering understanding

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of a high school programme ( for example working for charity, Improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everthing organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that children should be educated at school about paying taxes and personal budgeting Others think that parents should teach these things

Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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