IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Being a celebrity-such as film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity-such #film #star #sports #personality-brings #celebrity
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Thesedays
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These days
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 struggle to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous person and well-known as well as having a lot of money , but
definitely
Add a comma
,definitely
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will have some
disavangeous
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
 . I am going to outline my reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue .
firstly
Linking Words
 , famous
people
Use synonyms
 sometimes become the focus of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society .The media and
people
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 always love to gossip and talk about celebrities and famous
spory
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sports
sporty
people
Use synonyms
 and that may intrude upon their life and interfere with their social and daily life .
for example
Linking Words
 , many celebrities flee the
paperatzi
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paparazzi
 and reporters and never stay in
place
Add an article
a place
the place
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 where crowds of
people
Use synonyms
 exist .
secondly
Linking Words
, if they do something wrong it will quickly set a bad example for
younge
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young
younger
people
Use synonyms
 . many
people
Use synonyms
 see celebrities and
spory
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sporty
sports
people
Use synonyms
 as role models and always look up to them
therefore
Linking Words
 if they
don' t
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don't
show examples
 pay attention to their deeds it will have
adverse
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an adverse
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 impact on society and they again become the
center
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centre
show examples
 of attention and
this
Linking Words
 will destroy their reputation or even
balcken
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blacken
 their name. in conclusion, being a celebrity may bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
 of
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as popularity , wealth and prosperity .
howerver
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however
disadvantagous
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
disadvantages
 like being the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of attention and careful consideration of their behaviour seriously outweighs the
advantegous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
advantages
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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