IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the gender ought to be separated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #girls #boys #gender
Opinions are divided on whether
students
 should study in co-educational complexes or single-sex
schools
. I will discuss both of these points of view in
this
 essay;
however
, in my opinion, it is extremely beneficial if genders are separated in
schools
. On the one hand, It is often believed by some that there should be mixed-education in
schools
 to boost the
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 level of
students
. It is completely true because when girls and boys interact with each other on daily basis in
schools
,
this
 develops confidence in them to confront people of
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 gender which will aid them in their practical lives. A recent study in Norway has proven that graduates in the employment market, who have completed their studies in mixed-sex
schools
, are comparatively more comfortable and confident than their counterparts.
Therefore
, they attain
confidence
Add an article
the confidence
show examples
 to face and deal with their colleagues in work life and their spouses in
metrimonial
Correct your spelling
matrimonial
 lives.
Hence
 on
this
 account, co-educational
schools
 can be considered a good choice.
On the other hand
, single-gender
schools
 assist
students
 to learn in a relaxed environment where they can fully focus on their careers.
For instance
, it is particularly true for the shy and
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 pupils, as they often get confused and feel difficulty in learning properly when they compete with their classmates of
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 sex.
Similarly
, another problem may
arises
Change the verb form
arise
show examples
 when
students
 develop feelings and affections for their opposing gender class fellows. They
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to distraction and loss of focus on education.
Therefore
 ,
this
 affects their studies and they do not perform
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in academia.
Thus
, single-sex
schools
 are the best option to educate children. In conclusion,
although
 there are some merits of co-education, I believe that separation of male and female pupils in
schools
 is essential for them to concentrate fully on their education in a relaxed ambience.
Submitted by tubashaukat93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: