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In the past, people used to travel abroad to see the difference from their home country. However, the sceneries in places all around the world seem more and more similar nowadays. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of these similarities outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #difference #home #country #sceneries #places #world #similarities
Global tourism
upsurged
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 during the
last
 two decades and people rushed to exotic cities to enjoy
unique
Correct article usage
the unique
show examples
 features of those places and appreciate the
architects
Replace the word
architecture
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 and sceneries.
However
, tourist destinations, in most parts of the
world
, are becoming similar
while
 compromising their unique cultural and structural features. Globalisation and
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of technology, in my opinion, are the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
. Globalisation has unified the
world
 in many different aspects. The same architect is designing the buildings in the US
as well as
 in Europe and Asia. Construction materials for infrastructural development are
also
 the same. So it is obvious that those buildings look alike.
Besides
, technology has enabled people to learn about foreign cultures and adapt to them pretty swiftly.
As a result
, unique cultural hallmarks are becoming less obvious
while
 the
world
 is embracing a similar lifestyle, food
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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, fashion and technology.
This
 is why a teenager in Tokyo follows the same fashion and style
of
Change preposition
as
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 teenagers from New York.
Moreover
,
MacDonalds
Correct your spelling
McDonald
show examples
, KFC and Pizza Hut are
popular
Rephrase
as popular
show examples
 in Bangkok as they are back in California. Tourist attractions cannot escape from
this
 sweeping trend and
that is
 why Kuala Lumpur is not much different than Beijing or Hong Kong.
This
 phenomenon might seem advantageous to some, but, in my opinion, disturbing and dangerous for cultural identity and global tourism. People may already have sacrificed too many of their cultural identities despite agreeing that our unique culture is our most treasurable heritage
that is
 supposed to be passed on from generation to generation. Personally, I would not like to travel thousands of miles to land in a city that looks just like mine. So similarities among cities will not benefit the global tourism industries. In conclusion, we cannot deny the effects of globalisation and how it connects the
world
. But when it comes to preserving our unique cultural identities and planning our cities, we should be more of a nationalist than a global citizen. Post navigation
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the question by clearly presenting the causes of the similarities in tourist destinations and weighing the advantages and disadvantages of these similarities.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it is important to maintain coherence and cohesion in the body paragraphs by using suitable linking words and organizing information in a logical manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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