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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

#dangers #chemicals #food #production #preservation
Some individuals opine that several current foodstuff industries tend to involve
chemicals
 in food for many reasons
such
 as prevention from food spoilage and maintaining long-term. Personally, there are both positive and negative outcomes from
this
 phenomenon and I will elaborate in the following essay. On the one hand,
Chemicals
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 fringe benefits to either consumers or manufacturers.
Firstly
, foodstuffs can be longer maintained in the shelf stocks, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to an increase in waste in many countries.
Moreover
, individuals who prefer consuming instant foods
due to
 a convenient lifestyle can conserve a bunch of time. Those still provide benefits to soldiers,
for example
, military meal packs were manufactured by including efficient preservatives, which
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
 the lifespan, leading to being useful in wars or long-distance trips.
On the other hand
, those
chemicals
 are not only harmful to consumers but
also
 to farmers who contaminated those substances
while
 cultivating vegetation, including fruits and vegetables.
Consequently
, individuals tend to receive far more toxic substances in daily life from those productions, which were grown by non-biology
fertiliser
Fix the agreement mistake
fertilisers
show examples
 and used a large number of pesticides in order to acquire better results.
Additionally
, If farmers are unable to protect themselves from touching those toxic substances, their physical heaths would be horrible
due to
 gaining the richness of those.
For instance
, a number of
thai
Change the capitalization
Thai
show examples
 agriculturers experienced terrible health issues since they used pesticides on their rice field to raise the prices of crops. In conclusion,
although
 using
chemicals
 in foodstuff products can either increase lifespans or provide a better quality of vegetation products,
danger
Correct article usage
the danger
show examples
 from those
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
concerned
Correct word choice
serious
show examples
 in the long run.
Submitted by weipanalog on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Your introduction and conclusion could be improved to better address the prompt.
task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples and details to support your points. Link your examples directly to the advantages and disadvantages of using chemicals in food production.

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