IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

5. There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#workers #work #home #students #study #computer #technology #development
In
this
 era of globalisation, lifestyle has changed a lot and people try to adjust to the varied situations. All the changes and inventions make life easy-going. The easier life is, the more prone we are to fatal diseases due to lack of exercise. In
this
 ever-changing scenario, things have changed, particularly technology.
As a result
, people tend to do their activities in their home itself whether it is work or study.
However
, I believe, it is a negative development since being
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of a screen for a long time can cause
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effects on our body.
To begin
 with, nowadays
techologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 have been playing a great role in
this
 era of globalisation. Due to that people have been reporting that they are confronting side effects of it because of the
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 especially parents who are concerned about
their
Correct the word
theirs
show examples
. children. In the case of students, they have to wake up and sit
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of the white screen to attend the class
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 going to school in person, because of
this
, it becomes easier for diseases like obesity and eye problems to get in their bodies.
For example
, no sooner does one spend long hours on the screen frequently than the possibilities of getting caught by health issues are high.
On the other hand
, adults who are doing their work on
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 have not much to worry about since they are matured they should know the effects those could cause their body
Submitted by milan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: