IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
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There are some people who quickly consider a major long time occupation.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, others confirm
that is
Linking Words
 no problem to change
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 up to we find out one appropriate
job
Use synonyms
. Personally, I totally am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of later
notion
Fix the agreement mistake
notions
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 and justifications
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 shown.
First
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 of all, it is challenging to get a suitable
job
Use synonyms
 today. Almost all of schools or universities had not
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of useful train lessons to facilitate students have a right way in order to determine on their
career
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. So, educational institutions need
product
Change preposition
to product
show examples
 some particular instructions for
Add an article
the teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to classify students into the right fields in privacy.
Next
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,
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the employee
an employee
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 cannot perceive all information on
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 they have to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
,
for instance
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, analyzing
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
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 have to do outdoor
instead
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 of in the laboratory
although
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 interpretation is similar.
Moreover
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, each worker needs different traits of jobs in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 period, same as when they had been married or when they concentrate on
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 care their family.
Consequently
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, spotting a suitable
job
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 which spending a lot of time and shifting the occupation in several times.
On the other hand
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, altering the
job
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 is not demanding to emerge a number of problems for either employer or employee. As globalization is
carrying
Wrong verb form
carried
show examples
 out over the world, nations can change the place where they find it easy to hire foreign workers.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
also
Linking Words
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 a new
job
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they are free to enter any company in order to fit their
career
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. In conclusion, countries need
generate
Fix the infinitive
to generate
show examples
 conditions for students to reach the right
job
Use synonyms
 in
fastest
Add an article
the fastest
show examples
 way and expand
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career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 market for everybody. Overall, I completely agree that we can change some jobs to approach our perfect
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by nguyenpqbao0111 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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