More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. What are the reasons for this ? What are the solutions.

#people #sugar #drinks

At the present time, the majority of citizens consume drinks

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

contain

much

Correct quantifier usage

a lot of

show examples

sugar.

This

phenomenon happens since traders sell them

with

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cheap prices so it encourages consumers

putting

Change the verb form

to put

show examples

them as a daily habit. A solution which is offered by me is to allocate the budgets to other particular actions.

Then

, I will elaborate

about

Change preposition

show examples

this

situation in the forthcoming paragraphs.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

number of communities especially youngsters take sweet juices as they are able to obtain

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

inexpensively.

This

occurs due to the fact that many companies open their branches in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

several locations.

Moreover

, it can reduce the cost of transportation, for young generations reach them with short distances. Apart from that, there are a lot of various beverages that these groups can choose

Change preposition

from.

show examples

Therefore

, they buy them without thinking

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

much money they spent on them.

For instance

, Chung-Chung, a refreshment company from Thailand, establishes

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

market

with

Change preposition

show examples

building

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

agents in every district in

this

city. Not only provide Thai Tea as its famous product but

also

mix it with other ingredients

such

as chocolate, taro, and hazelnut. Talking about the solution from

this

fact, juveniles should allocate

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

budgets that they utilize to it well.

Furthermore

, they can arrange their financial planning for other useful activities.

In addition

, joining as the members of

gym

Add an article

the gym

a gym

show examples

is one of

actions

Add an article

the actions

show examples

which support their body to be more health

instead

of watering sweet potions. According to

survey

Add an article

a survey

show examples

conducted by

Indonesian

Correct article usage

the Indonesian

show examples

Doctor Association, inhabitants who are 30-50 years old have more

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

related to obesity and

Correct your spelling

weight

show examples

weigh

Correct your spelling

weight

show examples

problems.

Thus

, it is really

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the past where just a few

number

Change to a plural noun

numbers

show examples

oldest

Correct article usage

the oldest

show examples

attain these diseases. To sum up, the uplift of societies lap sugar up mixed in the many types of liquors which are caused by the expansion of the business market so communities can span it easily.

Nevertheless

, utilizing the money to other bustles is regarded as the breakings.

Thu Mar 10 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. What are the reasons for this ? What are the solutions.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?