IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The tendency of human beings copying each other is shown in popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

#tendency #beings #popularity #fashion #clothes #consumer #goods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 era of globalisation, lifestyle has changed a lot and people try to adjust to the varied situations.
As a result
Linking Words
, many things have changed
such
Linking Words
 as rules, technologies, and crowd fashion. As we are living in a modern world humans started to copy the outfits of
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 culture and
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is an opportunity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retailers to grab profits by selling products that are essential within that decade.
However
Linking Words
, from my ,perspective it is a good development considering the developing world, of course.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, being like someone else is considered to be a merit, but
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it has its own downside as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to talk about the advantage, a society can enhance their standard of living by comparing to other western groups, so that their parents and guardians could know how important is it for the public to get involved in
this
Linking Words
 earth especially related to education.
For example
Linking Words
, no sooner
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 one
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
show examples
 to modern fashion and tradition than he can keep up with nature. Not only to keep himself updated on the planet but
also
Linking Words
 to increase the literacy rate. On the negative side, we can see by matching to others as the same as a modern community
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the local practice can
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
 entirely and so
do
Verb problem
can
show examples
 the goods that have been
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 locally.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the elder crowd do not like these actions which have been done by the youngsters. To cite an example, hardly
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
one
immigrated
Wrong verb form
immigrates
show examples
 to a foreign country when more beings would be attracted to it and eventually
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 culture of a small particular area could be demolished.
To conclude
Linking Words
, seeking
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society and copying their trend is a part of the development and there are a plethora of benefits,
however
Linking Words
, there are humans who contradict
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Submitted by milan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay presents some relevant ideas, but they are not fully developed and lack coherence. The examples provided are not well-explained, and the essay does not fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear logical structure. The main points are not well connected, and the essay would benefit from better organization and coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: