IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The tendency of human beings copying each other is shown in popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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 era of globalisation, lifestyle has changed a lot and people try to adjust to the varied situations.
As a result
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, many things have changed
such
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 as rules, technologies, and crowd fashion. As we are living in a modern world humans started to copy the outfits of
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 culture and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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this
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 is an opportunity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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retailers to grab profits by selling products that are essential within that decade.
However
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, from my ,perspective it is a good development considering the developing world, of course.
To begin
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 with, being like someone else is considered to be a merit, but
nevertheless
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, it has its own downside as well.
Furthermore
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, to talk about the advantage, a society can enhance their standard of living by comparing to other western groups, so that their parents and guardians could know how important is it for the public to get involved in
this
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 earth especially related to education.
For example
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, no sooner
does
Verb problem
is
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 one
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
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 to modern fashion and tradition than he can keep up with nature. Not only to keep himself updated on the planet but
also
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 to increase the literacy rate. On the negative side, we can see by matching to others as the same as a modern community
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then
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apply
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the local practice can
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
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 entirely and so
do
Verb problem
can
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 the goods that have been
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
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 locally.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the elder crowd do not like these actions which have been done by the youngsters. To cite an example, hardly
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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one
immigrated
Wrong verb form
immigrates
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 to a foreign country when more beings would be attracted to it and eventually
a
Correct article usage
the
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 culture of a small particular area could be demolished.
To conclude
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, seeking
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society and copying their trend is a part of the development and there are a plethora of benefits,
however
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, there are humans who contradict
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
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 idea.

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task response
The essay presents some relevant ideas, but they are not fully developed and lack coherence. The examples provided are not well-explained, and the essay does not fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear logical structure. The main points are not well connected, and the essay would benefit from better organization and coherence.
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