Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
business stability became one of the most essential factors in everybody's life but, numerous folks opine that having work pleasure is more vital than other factors. as far as I am convinced both opinions should
considered
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
era, both attitudes are elaborated on in the below. In
this
Linking Words
modern world, Having
secure
Add an article
a secure
show examples
and adequate source of revenue for everybody is nessecery, not only families but
also
Linking Words
a person who live individually need income to cover the cost of
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
, from accommodation to buying food, by having permanent employment could be a remedy for preventing any pressure on
soul
Add an article
the soul
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
if a man does not have a stable income it may lead to facing many heart conditions
in activity
Correct your spelling
inactivity
show examples
, from health care to mental one, as a ,result it is essential to have a fixed income. Naturally, being pleased with job plays a critical role in human being growth style, these days people are working about 8 hours daily, if employees don't like their job it creates a multitude of psychological consequences in their soul, working on the not loved major leads to many detest situation
in activity
Correct your spelling
inactivity
show examples
and create anxiety and depression potential. So having favourable work became essential as I mentioned before. To sum up, both activity security and pleasure need to be combined, and together
theybuilding
Correct your spelling
they building
the building
a reasonable work for anyone.
Submitted by payamrap on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: