Some people think that the crime among teenagers is increasing because of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The controversial topic concerning

crime

Use synonyms

among youngsters never fails to attract public attention. Even several individuals believe that wrongdoings percentage is increasingly popular among them

this

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is due to the fact that they play violent video

games

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regularly. In my opinion,

although

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some video

games

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can contribute to

violation

Add an article

the violation

a violation

show examples

, it is not the only factor to blame.

This

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essay will discuss other things that could upsurge criminals among youth.

Firstly

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, some action movies could raise

violation

Correct article usage

the violation

show examples

rate among teenagers.

This

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is due to the fact that these shows could show real situations of people who use weapons to solve their own problems

instead

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of seeking help from legal authorities.

For instance

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, a movie called "old mali and the boy" taught

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

how to use destructive weapons to defend themselves against normal unarmed persons.

Therefore

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, teenagers

Correct your spelling

specifically

especifically

Add a missing verb

are especifically

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easily attracted to

such

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movies so much that they want to mimic them. For

this

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reason, it is commonly believed that some shows could increase

crime

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among certain

age

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ages

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in our society.

Secondly

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violent

Correct article usage

a violent

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environment could be considered as an effective factor

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show examples

minors'

attitude

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attitudes

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. Because they experience

violence

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so much that they became accustomed to it.

For example

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violence

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is natural among youngsters who live in areas that have a high

crime

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rate. Even though some

games

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could increase bad deeds among them, living between

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violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

individuals could

also

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contribute to

violation

Correct article usage

the violation

show examples

rate. In conclusion,

however

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, several

games

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can entice

crime

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between younger people, other factors

such

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as action movies and violent environments could

also

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boost it to the max. It is recommended that government should increase public awareness towards

violence

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to protect minors from being criminals in the future.

Submitted by aymanshabakaa on Mon Mar 14 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Some people think that the crime among teenagers is increasing because of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people today are visiting extreme places such as Antarctica or the Sahara desert. What are the advantages or disadvantages of such travels?

The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying

Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.