Some people think that the crime among teenagers is increasing because of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The controversial topic concerning

crime

Use synonyms

among youngsters never fails to attract public attention. Even

several

Correct word choice

though several

show examples

individuals believe that wrongdoings percentage is increasingly popular among

them

Punctuation problem

them,

show examples

this

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they play violent video

games

Use synonyms

regularly. In my opinion,

although

Linking Words

some video

games

Use synonyms

can contribute to

violation

Check wording

violence

show examples

, it is not the only factor to blame.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss other things that could upsurge criminals among youth.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some action movies could raise

violation

Check wording

the violence

show examples

rate among teenagers.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that these shows could show real situations of people who use weapons to solve their own problems

instead

Linking Words

of seeking help from legal authorities.

For instance

Linking Words

, a movie called "

old mali

Fix capitalization

Old Mali

show examples

and the

boy

Fix capitalization

Boy

show examples

" taught

audience

Correct article usage

the audience

show examples

how to use destructive weapons to defend themselves against normal unarmed persons.

Therefore

Linking Words

, teenagers

Verb problem

are especifically

show examples

especifically

Correct your spelling

specifically

easily attracted to

such

Linking Words

movies so much that they want to mimic them.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, it is commonly believed that some shows could increase

crime

Use synonyms

among certain age

Check wording

groups in

show examples

our society.

Secondly

Linking Words

violent

Correct article usage

a violent

show examples

environment could be considered as an effective factor on minors'

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

. Because they experience

violence

Use synonyms

so much that they

became

Wrong verb form

have become

show examples

accustomed to it.

For example

Linking Words

violence

Use synonyms

is natural among youngsters who live in areas that have a high

crime

Use synonyms

rate. Even though some

games

Use synonyms

could increase bad deeds among them, living

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

individuals could

also

Linking Words

contribute to

violation

Check wording

the violence

show examples

rate. In conclusion,

however

Linking Words

, several

games

Use synonyms

can entice

crime

Use synonyms

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

younger people

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

other factors

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as action movies and violent

environments

Punctuation problem

environments,

show examples

could

also

Linking Words

boost it to the max. It is recommended that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should increase public awareness towards

violence

Use synonyms

to protect minors from

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

criminals in the future.

aymanshabakaa

Mar 14, 2022

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task response

Be clear on your view. If you partly agree, say so and then say yes to the reasons that made you think this. Give a short, direct statement in the first or second sentence.

coherence cohesion

Plan your essay with a simple map: intro with view, three body parts each with one main idea and a short result, then a final line. Start each paragraph with a clear main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use only simple linking words like and, but, also, because, so. This helps the flow but don’t overdo it. End each paragraph with a small closing idea.

task response

Explain each point with a clear reason and a small example. The example should be easy to see in life or news.

language use

Keep spelling and grammar clean. Check words like effect, effect, effect, and common word mistakes. Short, simple sentences are easier to read.

task response

The essay shows you want to use more than one reason.

coherence

You use a clear plan with three parts and a conclusion.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Some people think that the crime among teenagers is increasing because of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When new towns are planned, it is mportant to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree

many countries are spending a huge of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide sports competitions. others argue that it would be better if these countries could spend the money on children to take part in sports. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that smoking cigarettes should be banned. On the other hand, there are those who disagree with this measure. Do you agree or disagree with the banning of cigarettes?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?