Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

High-level-
Correct your spelling
High-level sugar
show examples
sugar
products
have gained more attention from the public for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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detrimental effect on
people
's
health
. Someone even argues that the
price
of these
products
should be raised to discourage
people
from purchasing them. Personally, I disagree with the idea because there are more viable ways to reach that. For a variety of reasons, it would be a wrong method to raise the
price
of
products
with high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
show examples
.
Firstly
, increasing the prices cannot forbid
people
from eating
sugar
. They can add more
sugar
to their homemade food, leading to the same consequences that they still intake too much
sugar
.
Secondly
, it is unequal to the manufacturers because the high
price
will reduce their sales which result in a loss of earnings. It is more crucial for the government to raise citizens’ awareness of
sugar
-caused
health
problems. Few
people
have realized the significance of living a
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
life, which makes them keep consuming sugary
products
. So the essential measure we should take is to deepen their understanding of
sugar
’s effects. Only when
people
make changes, can they consciously avoid
health
problems. They should take more courses about
health
issues and choose a clean diet. Manufacturers should
also
give strict restrictions
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
content of every product. In the meantime, they are supposed to print the disadvantages of
sugar
in the packages of their
products
. In conclusion, I believe it is more important to raise individual awareness of
sugar
-caused
health
problems rather than setting a higher
price
for sugary
products
. Efforts should be made by all, including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals, manufacturers and governments.
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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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