Some people think that the crime among teenagers is increasing because of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The effect of aggressive video

games

on youngsters has been a debatable issue. I think that video

games

play a significant role in diverting the mind of young ones towards anger and fights but it is not the only factor to be blamed.

To begin

with, it can be strongly argued that the growing minds are strongly influenced by what they see and do. Family issues can affect their brains to a large extent.

For instance

, if they see debates and arguments between their family member they will definitely grow up like them.

Additionally

, Action movies and

Correct your spelling

show examples

serials involve violent weapons and dangerous stunts. Teenagers try to perform these in real life which can lead to violence and accidence.

On the other hand

, video

games

involve winning by harming the other side.

This

builds a feeling of hate and

dislikes

Correct subject-verb agreement

dislike

show examples

for others.

For example

, Pub G had led to the death of many children as they tried to do the things they learnt from the game in real life.

Further

, the overuse of these computer

games

also

decreases the social connection of kids and they face stress and depression as they stop sharing things with others. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, I would say that PlayStations are responsible for bringing violence among youth to some extent. But there are other reasons like family issues and action movies which can be equally blamed. Young minds can be compared with mud pots which can be shaped as we want.

Therefore

, parents should take care of what their children see and do.

Submitted by jogdeep8454 on Tue Mar 15 2022

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task response

Provide more specific examples related to the effects of video games on teenagers.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and cohesive flow of ideas by using transition words and maintaining paragraph unity.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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