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Band 2.5

Nowadays people are working too hard. What is the reason for that? What should employers do in order to prevent employees from this?

#people #reason #employers #employees
In the present time, long hours of hard work is increasing between employees, due to economic problems. Tom avoid its adverse effects, business owners and managers must take
preventing
Replace the word
prevention
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 tactics to help their staff for keeping
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
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 balance. Reasons behind
this
 decision to work harder than a normal routine could be
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 person to person. Not only higher inflation and expenses of life force people to work harder, the consumerism and our
contemporate
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 lifestyle
also
 make it inevitable.
Moreover
, employers are worsting
this
 situation by expanding
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 duties of their experienced staff, which can put serious physical or mental pressure on them. To avoid
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of
this
 improving strain on employees, human resource managers suggest adding some physical exercise
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their daily schedule. It is
also
 crucial to promote
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
show examples
 and position of experienced employees along with expanding their responsibilities. Interestingly, knowledge in managing human resources
are
Change the verb form
is
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 developing dramatically. In my opinion, it is extremely beneficial for every single company to utilize their experience for better management. In conclusion, increasing expenditures and changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lifestyle are two key points that stimulate more working. It could be problematic in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run and businesses must take appropriate actions to avoid
this
 situation.
Submitted by fateme.niknam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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