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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays people are working too hard. What is the reason for that? What should employers do in order to prevent employees from this?

#people #reason #employers #employees
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In the present time, long hours of hard work is increasing between employees, due to economic problems. Tom avoid its adverse effects, business owners and managers must take
preventing
Replace the word
prevention
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 tactics to help their staff for keeping
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
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 balance. Reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 decision to work harder than a normal routine could be
different
Add an article
a different
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 person to person. Not only higher inflation and expenses of life force people to work harder, the consumerism and our
contemporate
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 lifestyle
also
Linking Words
 make it inevitable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, employers are worsting
this
Linking Words
 situation by expanding
job
Correct article usage
the job
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 duties of their experienced staff, which can put serious physical or mental pressure on them. To avoid
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 effects of
this
Linking Words
 improving strain on employees, human resource managers suggest adding some physical exercise
on
Change preposition
to
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 their daily schedule. It is
also
Linking Words
 crucial to promote
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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 and position of experienced employees along with expanding their responsibilities. Interestingly, knowledge in managing human resources
are
Change the verb form
is
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 developing dramatically. In my opinion, it is extremely beneficial for every single company to utilize their experience for better management. In conclusion, increasing expenditures and changes
of
Change preposition
in
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 our lifestyle are two key points that stimulate more working. It could be problematic in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run and businesses must take appropriate actions to avoid
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Submitted by fateme.niknam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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