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Band 5.5

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #jobs #employees
It's undeniable that globalization is the trend of today's world . There are some people who think developed
countries
 should allow recruitment offers for the skilled workforce from underdeveloped
countries
 , l completely agree with
this
 notion . In the following essay , some of the ideas that support my opinion will be explored thoroughly. One idea is ,
allowance
Correct article usage
the allowance
show examples
 of job offers for
foreign
Add an article
the foreign
show examples
 workforce is economically profitable for the host country .
This
 is because , those employees are as professional as the
indiginous
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 people ;
however
 , they haven't been given the proper opportunity to prove themselves .
Consequently
 , if those workers are given the chance by famous companies , they will do their utmost efforts to prove that they are trustworthy .
For example
 , Amazon , which is a household name company , dedicate 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 job positions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 professional foreign employees , a strategy that keeps
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in the work area in
ordrr
Correct your spelling
order
 to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
profits . Another idea is , job offers for
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 workers abroad is advantageous for their home
countries
. Whereas those workers provide the host
countries
 with their unique skills , they return home with money and experience that help
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their own
countries
 .
For instance
 ,
South
Change preposition
in South
show examples
 Africa when suffered from poverty and negligence , African doctors and engineers who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 and proved themselves in developed
countries
 with recent advances , returned back home and helped their own
countries
 to prosper . In conclusion ,
Although
 some people might think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of indigenous
labour power
Add a hyphen
labour-power
show examples
 to travel and work abroad , it
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 to be highly profitable for both the host developed country and the underdeveloped country that will make benefit later from their experienced citizens .
Submitted by dentistmargo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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