IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #jobs #employees
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It's undeniable that globalization is the trend of today's world . There are some people who think developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should allow recruitment offers for the skilled workforce from underdeveloped
countries
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 , l completely agree with
this
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 notion . In the following essay , some of the ideas that support my opinion will be explored thoroughly. One idea is ,
allowance
Correct article usage
the allowance
show examples
 of job offers for
foreign
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the foreign
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 workforce is economically profitable for the host country .
This
Linking Words
 is because , those employees are as professional as the
indiginous
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 people ;
however
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 , they haven't been given the proper opportunity to prove themselves .
Consequently
Linking Words
 , if those workers are given the chance by famous companies , they will do their utmost efforts to prove that they are trustworthy .
For example
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 , Amazon , which is a household name company , dedicate 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
it's
Replace the word
its
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 job positions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 professional foreign employees , a strategy that keeps
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in the work area in
ordrr
Correct your spelling
order
 to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
profits . Another idea is , job offers for
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
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 workers abroad is advantageous for their home
countries
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. Whereas those workers provide the host
countries
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 with their unique skills , they return home with money and experience that help
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their own
countries
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 .
For instance
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 ,
South
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in South
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 Africa when suffered from poverty and negligence , African doctors and engineers who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 and proved themselves in developed
countries
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 with recent advances , returned back home and helped their own
countries
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 to prosper . In conclusion ,
Although
Linking Words
 some people might think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of indigenous
labour power
Add a hyphen
labour-power
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 to travel and work abroad , it
appear
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appears
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 to be highly profitable for both the host developed country and the underdeveloped country that will make benefit later from their experienced citizens .
Submitted by dentistmargo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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