IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Friends can you please check my essay. Topic is - Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#friends #check #topic #technology #world
The world today
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 faces a threat to its existence due to environmental problems of grave nature. The rise of
such
 issues might be attributed to the rapid industrialisation led by technological advancements in the
last
 century.
Nonethless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, I strongly believe that these threats will be neutralised too, by technology itself. Inventions in the areas of
energy
, transportation and industrial waste management will lead to an improved climatic condition.
Firstly
, the most serious concern is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global warming. Many factors like air pollution, water pollution have contributed to it. We have
also
 been long dependent on traditional
fosssil
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuels for meeting our
energy
 requirements.
However
, with the advancement of science, we have now
began
Change the verb form
begun
show examples
 to switch to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable sources.
For example
, using solar and wind
energy
.
In addition
 to that, the use of electric vehicles is on the rise across the globe and that
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will lower
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution levels.
Also
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments around the world are pushing for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research and development in the area of clean
energy
 which is a welcome step for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
In addition
 to
this
, there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of inventions in the area of industrial waste management. The companies are now mandated by the local bodies to use the latest equipment for
disposing
Add the preposition
ofdisposing
show examples
 their waste.
Furthermore
, the field of transportation has
also
 seen the rise of the newest
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 being experimented
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
 various countries.
For example
, the development of hyper-loop in Japan and bullet train in India. Nowadays, many companies are developing machines which will make the atmosphere cleaner in future. In a nutshell, an intelligent scientific community along with the push from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments around the globe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will lead to many
intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 innovations, which will ultimately solve the environmental issues. The changes are visible now
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and will become more evident in the upcoming years.
Submitted by yashkhatri1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: