Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #career

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It is often argued by some that there are many advantages for children to play

team

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sports

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to prepare for their future jobs

while

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others do not agree. From my point of view, I do agree with

this

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idea. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides in detail. On the one hand, it is beneficial to offspring.

To begin

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with, they can learn to cope with their peers. To illustrate

this

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, they may face conflicts

while

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playing physical activities as a

team

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and they need to solve those by themselves. On top of that, They are able to learn

time

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management skills.

For example

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, because

team

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sports

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are usually played at a certain

time

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, they need to manage their

time

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in order to win.

On the other hand

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, some drawbacks may arise

along with

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the aforementioned positive outcomes.

Firstly

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, it may take up

time

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for children to study basic subjects

such

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as math, science, and history. As these are considered

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apply

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the most important

subject

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subjects

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because they will be tested to enter universities, playing

sports

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may lead parents to worry and be unsatisfied with their studies.

Secondly

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, children may get injured by playing

team

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spots

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sports

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. From my experience, I once sprained my ankle during a

team

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sports

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game, and I needed to stay home for a week.

To conclude

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although

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there are some disadvantages, I personally believe that there are more benefits to kids. They are able to learn to cope with peers and

time

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management skills.

Therefore

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, I do believe that it is beneficial to kids and their future workplaces.

Submitted by yyurienn on Tue Mar 22 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the introduction by clearly stating the two contrasting views and your opinion. Ensure a clear thesis statement.

task response

Include more specific examples and elaborate on the drawbacks of children playing team sports. This will strengthen your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.