Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued by some that there are many advantages for children to play
team
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sports
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to prepare for their future jobs
while
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others do not agree. From my point of view, I do agree with
this
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idea. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides in detail. On the one hand, it is beneficial to offspring.
To begin
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with, they can learn to cope with their peers. To illustrate
this
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, they may face conflicts
while
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playing physical activities as a
team
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and they need to solve those by themselves. On top of that, They are able to learn
time
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management skills.
For example
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, because
team
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sports
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are usually played at a certain
time
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, they need to manage their
time
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in order to win.
On the other hand
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, some drawbacks may arise
along with
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the aforementioned positive outcomes.
Firstly
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, it may take up
time
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for children to study basic subjects
such
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as math, science, and history. As these are considered
as
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apply
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the most important
subject
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subjects
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because they will be tested to enter universities, playing
sports
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may lead parents to worry and be unsatisfied with their studies.
Secondly
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, children may get injured by playing
team
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spots
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sports
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. From my experience, I once sprained my ankle during a
team
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sports
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game, and I needed to stay home for a week.
To conclude
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,
although
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there are some disadvantages, I personally believe that there are more benefits to kids. They are able to learn to cope with peers and
time
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management skills.
Therefore
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, I do believe that it is beneficial to kids and their future workplaces.
Submitted by yyurienn on

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the two contrasting views and your opinion. Ensure a clear thesis statement.
task response
Include more specific examples and elaborate on the drawbacks of children playing team sports. This will strengthen your argument.
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