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Band 4.5

Some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #schools #students #subjects #right
It was commonly recognized that
people
 who received a good education in their teenage time can reap the benefits of gaining academic skills and interpersonal skills. A section of society frequently
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
 that the school system should teach adolescents to judge
right
 from wrong or not.
As per
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my standpoint, I totally agree with the statement that youngsters should learn those skills as well. I will prove it in the following article.
Firstly
, one of the most noticeable advantages of learning about discriminating between
right
 and wrong is that teenagers can shape positive role models. Except for learning their major courses, having the ability to understand what's
right
 and wrong is essential for their job prospects.
For example
, a layer should not only get a good grasp of all the laws and principles in
this
 field but
also
 he or she has a duty to provide law support to those in disadvantaged backgrounds who can not afford too expensive commissions of applying a layer.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of justice should be taught in the period of college or university time, which will prompt the cycle of a positive, kind society phenomenon. On the other side, another possible advantage is that it will contribute to the reduction of the crime rate somehow. More
people
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 an awareness of justice can curb crime and encourage more brave behaviours to prevent criminal issues.
For instance
,
someone
Correct word choice
if someone
show examples
 wants to rob a store or supermarket, but most of the
people
 are brave enough to stop them,
then
 he or she might dare not to do so and
thus
 more potential criminals will be curbed.
Consequently
, teaching college and university students how to judge
right
 from wrong has positive impacts on reducing the crime rate. In summary, learners studying the awareness of justice,
kindness
Correct word choice
and kindness
show examples
 was extremely helpful to our society's fairness, which
further
 benefits
people
 surrounding them. Obviously, I support the view that schools should teach youth how to distinguish
right
 from wrong.
Submitted by zhouhao on

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Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt. Discuss both views and your opinion in separate paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences to introduce each viewpoint and provide a balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow and organization of the essay by structuring it with clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly and enhance coherence.

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