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Band 6

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summarise #features #comparisons
The given two diagrams illustrate the percentage of computer owners in the total population between 2002 and 2010
furthermore
, detailed by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010
Overall
, it is observed that there is a constant and substantial rise in owners of computers over the years
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
2010
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 the highest proportion.
however
, the least percentage was by no high school graduate.
Firstly
, the
owners
Correct quantifier usage
number of owners
show examples
 of computers in 2002 was little more than 50% of the population
whereas
, a steady increase was seen in 2004 and 2006 with little below 60% and slightly above 60% respectively.
Moreover
 marginal increase in 2008 resulted
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 70%
whereas
, a little below 80% was seen in the year 2010
Secondly
, ownership of computers among no high school grad was 50% higher accounting for 40% in 2010
whereas
, 15% was in 2002.
Furthermore
, high school graduates and unfinished graduates had 30% differences
60
Change preposition
between 60
show examples
% and 80% respectively in 2010 and 30% and 50% respectively in 2002.
In addition
 to
this
,
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree and postgraduate and graduate had the highest share of
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 80 and 90 in 2010
along with
, 60% and 80% in 2002.
Submitted by masoodbawazir on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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