IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organisations
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Some person FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE
people
Use synonyms
 It seems that
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 may not agree in number with other words in 
this
Linking Words
 phrase. show examples
work
Use synonyms
 at the identical system all their activity
life
Use synonyms
. Another
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 that it is better to
work
Use synonyms
 for various
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 do not like any change , they like to uniformity and
that is
Linking Words
 why they
endevour
Correct your spelling
endeavour
 all
life
Use synonyms
 the same organization. For them, the workplace becomes an integral part of their
life
Use synonyms
 and is connected with their
work
Use synonyms
 solidly. Other categories of the public prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 various
instutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 in their activity
life
Use synonyms
 and they enjoy it themselves. Maybe there is another reason for
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, maybe they get bored of their
work
Use synonyms
 and collective
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and like to
work
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 with other teams in another field.
As a result
Linking Words
, these categories of
people
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 avoid homogeneity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are not satisfied with the same salary and they want more and more.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, they are not able to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same salary and they want more and more.
Thiirdly
Correct your spelling
Thirdly
Third
, they are not able to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same field and are always
dissmissed
Correct your spelling
dismissed
 more job and via them their
abiltiy
Correct your spelling
ability
abilities
 and behaviour. To summarize both sides have their own advantages. You know, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that they
work
Use synonyms
 the same enterprise they ascend through
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 and do a career. They believe that making a career is very important in
life
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
 they achieve success in their
work
Use synonyms
. Others think
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that they make a lot of friends by working in different places, and they want to connect with many nations by changing their working place. In my opinion, I think,
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in
thye
Correct your spelling
the
sameorganization
Correct your spelling
same organization
. If
people
Use synonyms
 are knowledgeable in their field, they will surely reach great heights.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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