IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #money #salary #life
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Some people believe that
work
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 which is enjoyable is more significant than the task which gives a
lot
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 of fund or many
opportunities
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 in
work
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-life, while others disagree with
such
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 an idea which
work
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 gives a
lot
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 of
opportunities
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 resulting in better
work
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-life. From my perspective, an enjoyable
job
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 which makes us become satisfied helps us feel more energetic and comfortable in the
work
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.
On the contrary
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, the
work
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 which gives a
lot
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 of money or more
opportunities
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 in
work
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-
lifelife
Correct your spelling
life life
lifeline
 to us may cause us to feel uncomfortable and unhappy with
this
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work
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 because we have to spend so much time in
this
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job
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 duty until we complete
this
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 working task.
Moreover
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,
although
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 the reward of the
job
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 performance of unenjoyable
work
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 which we do not want to operate may provide a
lot
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 of money and several
opportunities
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 more than jobs which we want to operate, it may have negative impacts on our physical and mental health, and it will become worse if the working environment is catastrophic.
Besides
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, performing jobs which we want to do will make us become more hard-working,
such
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 as finding the specific knowledge and expanding our world horizon.
In contrast
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, if we choose the
job
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 which we do not want to do, it will have a negative repercussion on the working atmosphere of our firm and other colleagues.
In addition
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, the result of choosing a boring
job
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 is that we do not want to keep developing ourselves and find valuable knowledge for improving ourselves in order to provide a
lot
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 of benefits to ourselves and our firm. In conclusion, from my point of view, I strongly agree with idea that we should choose enjoyable
work
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 rather than
work
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 which gives a
lot
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 of benefits even if that
work
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 will provide a better life for us. the result of choosing enjoyable
work
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 will make us feel enthusiastic, delightful, and enjoyable for working. The more you keep improving yourself, the more
job
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 title and money you will get as well.
Submitted by boatakrawin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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