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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

#trade #increases #goods #basis #countries #distance #trend
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More and more commodities, including domestic ones, are produced abroad, regardless
Change preposition
of its
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 destination, because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 growth of global trade rates. I am inclined to believe that the advantages are over the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 tendency in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of its financial benefit. On the one hand, making
production
Use synonyms
 in other
countries
Use synonyms
 gives
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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 for enhancing the company. In essence, establishing manufacturing in
variety
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a variety
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 of
countries
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,
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apply
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 means to have
branch
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a branch
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 of the main entrepreneur firm there which involve the cheapest local
labor
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labour
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 market and consume its goods to their trade
centers
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centres
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 as well, which brings to the company not only popularity
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 extremely high income from local markets.
Thus
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, the more branches the
production
Use synonyms
 has in different
countries
Use synonyms
, the more developed it becomes, due to worldwide advertisement and high level of profit accumulated from those
countries
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. The
production
Use synonyms
 of
I-phone
Correct article usage
the I-phone
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, registered
25
Correct article usage
a 25
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 per cent increase in the capital of Apple several years ago, when Steve Jobs decided to make its
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
products
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 in China.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, organizations have to pay transportation fees for those products. In general, companies have to pay for
this
Linking Words
 development, since they make two sides transportation
that
Linking Words
is outsource
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is outsourced
is outsourcing
show examples
 of initial materials and
then
Linking Words
 the transferring of final ready commodities, which is considered as financial
lost
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loss
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 for firms, as they cannot include it in the value of
those product
Change the determiner
that product
those products
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, as it can make artificial inflation.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 type of productivity increase the expenditures of the manufactory firms,
although
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 it
as
Correct your spelling
is
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 the tip of the iceberg by comparing with high income from other
countries
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. According to research in the USA, 45
percent
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per cent
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 of their local gigantic firms, establish
daughter-firms
Correct your spelling
daughter firms
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 in several
countries
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,
such
Linking Words
 as Africa, Turkey and China. To recapitulate, over years it had become common to make
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
a production
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 of diverse commodities overseas, which have long transportation
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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.
This
Linking Words
 development
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 as much benefit for those entrepreneurs, by taking
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 account being advertised and capturing high profit, that transporting fees are not worrying.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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