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Band 5.5

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

#trade #increases #goods #basis #countries #distance #trend
More and more commodities, including domestic ones, are produced abroad, regardless
Change preposition
of its
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 destination, because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 growth of global trade rates. I am inclined to believe that the advantages are over the disadvantages of
this
 tendency in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of its financial benefit. On the one hand, making
production
 in other
countries
 gives
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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 for enhancing the company. In essence, establishing manufacturing in
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
countries
,
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apply
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 means to have
branch
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a branch
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 of the main entrepreneur firm there which involve the cheapest local
labor
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labour
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 market and consume its goods to their trade
centers
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centres
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 as well, which brings to the company not only popularity
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
 extremely high income from local markets.
Thus
, the more branches the
production
 has in different
countries
, the more developed it becomes, due to worldwide advertisement and high level of profit accumulated from those
countries
. The
production
 of
I-phone
Correct article usage
the I-phone
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,
for instance
, registered
25
Correct article usage
a 25
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 per cent increase in the capital of Apple several years ago, when Steve Jobs decided to make its
production
Replace the word
products
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 in China.
On the other hand
, organizations have to pay transportation fees for those products. In general, companies have to pay for
this
 development, since they make two sides transportation
that
is outsource
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is outsourced
is outsourcing
show examples
 of initial materials and
then
 the transferring of final ready commodities, which is considered as financial
lost
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loss
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 for firms, as they cannot include it in the value of
those product
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
, as it can make artificial inflation.
Consequently
,
such
 type of productivity increase the expenditures of the manufactory firms,
although
 it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the tip of the iceberg by comparing with high income from other
countries
. According to research in the USA, 45
percent
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per cent
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 of their local gigantic firms, establish
daughter-firms
Correct your spelling
daughter firms
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 in several
countries
,
such
 as Africa, Turkey and China. To recapitulate, over years it had become common to make
production
Add an article
the production
a production
show examples
 of diverse commodities overseas, which have long transportation
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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.
This
 development
make
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makes
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 as much benefit for those entrepreneurs, by taking
in to
Join the words
into
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 account being advertised and capturing high profit, that transporting fees are not worrying.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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