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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some employers involve their employees in their decision-making process. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#employers #employees #process
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In many companies, when it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time for
decision
Use synonyms
-making procedures, only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 of the employers allow their
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to participate. It is very important that staff working in the same
organization
Use synonyms
 should be given the
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 because
from
Add the comma(s)
,from
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 the organizational point of view, it will bolster their good
decision
Use synonyms
 making and create
the
Correct article usage
an
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 environment of coordination. So, my statement regarding
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 participating along with their employer has more advantages than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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disadadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
firstly
Linking Words
, people working in a company feels their workplace
as
Correct your spelling
is
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 like
a
Correct article usage
the
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next
Linking Words
 home when they are given the chance to raise their when participating in the meeting.
In other words
Linking Words
,
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
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 does not consider their boss as master and themselves as
the
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apply
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servant in the
organization
Use synonyms
 if
work
Add an article
the work
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 environment is made like that. The staff would get
motivate
Change the verb form
motivated
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 to work more, to achieve company's goal.
For instance
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, in
the
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apply
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Google, a group
decision
Use synonyms
 is made whenever there is a new meeting.
This
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 kind of process has created
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
show examples
 environment in
the
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apply
show examples
Google and
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 between every other crew
members
Fix the agreement mistake
member
show examples
 tight intact.
Moreover
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,
decision
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 made in combination has
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 result in reaching the success of the
organization
Use synonyms
. To clarify,
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 are not always perfect about the conclusion they did, so if workers are
also
Linking Words
 allowed
then
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 that can take to better
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 because different views, sometimes, create
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
Use synonyms
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
For example
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, in 2012, when Telsa was going bankrupt and Elon Musk was about
sell
Add the particle
to sell
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 it. A final meeting was called out by its board
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
 as well as
senior
Add an article
a senior
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 worker which decided to continue running the Tesla
instead
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 of selling to Apple. The result of that meeting has led it to be
highly
Add an article
a highly
the highly
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 valued company
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
decision-making
Add an article
the decision-making
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 process is taking a huge responsibility. If both the boss and the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are involved in that procedures, it will not only benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
top executives but
also
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the entire
organization
Use synonyms
 in reaching their target.
Submitted by arjunlama798 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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