As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Ageing is a process that will give you an opportunity to change your views and opinions . when a small child becomes an adult , he or she

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be more mature in ideas and a more responsible person than earlier and

this

Linking Words

writer believes that

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because there will be less risky behaviours and less burden for the family when a youngster

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

an adult.

To begin

Linking Words

with , when we consider the main differences between children and adults , maturity and the understanding of the world is the main point that adults

are having compare

Wrong verb form

have compared

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

furthermore

Linking Words

, with ,maturity they may be able to make decisions about themself and about society by measuring the weight of the good and bad of that decision.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the law system in most countries, persons

Fix the agreement mistake

older

show examples

than 18

Correct your spelling

years

can

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their own decisions like in politics, marriage and especially about their life. At the same time , they would take responsibility of their self and others and

this

Linking Words

would be an important development for them to live as an individual person in the future.

for example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

an annual report of the Sri Lankan Central Bank in 2020, the majority of the road traffic accidents in the country in that year

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

caused by teenagers and interestingly, with the increasing age , the number of accidents

also

Linking Words

less.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is obvious that when someone is maturing it would be a definite benefit for society. In conclusion, when we consider the ageing process, as children become adults their behaviour

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

responsibility and accountability will increase and they will take fewer risks for their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

other people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

mngldissanayakaSun Mar 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, discussing the main points that will be or have been explored in the essay.

task achievement

You have provided a complete response to the task, but make sure to support your points with more relevant and specific examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How can it be addressed?
There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether people get enough physical exercise. In this essay, I will explain why it is essential to do at least some kind of movements every day to live a healthy life.
5
band
Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Although some individuals assert that cooporation in world level merly address environtmental issues , It is arguesd that businesses take advantages of this mutual correlation . I hold the position that it could also benefits both developed countries economy and local business to flourish.
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In various countries, there is an increasing number of people getting to fascinating to explore the history of their geographical accommodation. From this writer's experience, it can be caused by their curiousness and religious belief, which may be investigated by asking the previous owner and look up the Internet.
6.5
band
The visuals give information about the number of hours students spent preparing for an admission test for an Asian university and their subsequent performance in that test. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart and the bar chart show the relationship between the grade the learner achieved in the exam for admission to an Asian university and the percentage of the number of hours students use to prepare for that exam.
5.5
band
Due to the availability of fast food nowadays, many people have low-quality diets. What problems can this cause? What can governments do to resolve these problems?
As a result of the convenience of fast food, a lot of people have low-quality meals these days. This essay will firstly discuss how fast food affects on human health and second, solutions governments need to take action.

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Your opinion

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How can it be addressed?

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

The visuals give information about the number of hours students spent preparing for an admission test for an Asian university and their subsequent performance in that test. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Due to the availability of fast food nowadays, many people have low-quality diets. What problems can this cause? What can governments do to resolve these problems?