As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Ageing is a process that will give you an opportunity to change your views and opinions . when a small child becomes an adult , he or she
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be more mature in ideas and a more responsible person than earlier and
this
Linking Words
writer believes that
this
Linking Words
is a positive development because there will be less risky behaviours and less burden for the family when a youngster
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
an adult.
To begin
Linking Words
with , when we consider the main differences between children and adults , maturity and the understanding of the world is the main point that adults
are having compare
Wrong verb form
have compared
show examples
to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, with ,maturity they may be able to make decisions about themself and about society by measuring the weight of the good and bad of that decision.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
the law system in most countries, persons
more
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
than 18
y
Correct your spelling
years
can
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
their own decisions like in politics, marriage and especially about their life. At the same time , they would take responsibility of their self and others and
this
Linking Words
would be an important development for them to live as an individual person in the future.
for example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
an annual report of the Sri Lankan Central Bank in 2020, the majority of the road traffic accidents in the country in that year
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
caused by teenagers and interestingly, with the increasing age , the number of accidents
also
Linking Words
less.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is obvious that when someone is maturing it would be a definite benefit for society. In conclusion, when we consider the ageing process, as children become adults their behaviour
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
responsibility and accountability will increase and they will take fewer risks for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
other people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by mngldissanayaka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, discussing the main points that will be or have been explored in the essay.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, but make sure to support your points with more relevant and specific examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: