Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Keeping your surroundings clean is vital to health and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
your life
becoming
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easy leading to the place of positivism on the whole environment. I
total
Change the word
totally
show examples
agree with
this
statement
that is
crucial to clean and
puts
Correct subject-verb agreement
put
show examples
some things in the correct place in their houses and offices.
Firstly
, cleaning and tidying of
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
play an important role in efficiently and conveniently. A proper arrangement of the office helps employees
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take files and assists them in saving their time.
For example
, the books in the library are classified
according to
subjects
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
readers and workers can
find
Rephrase
easily find
show examples
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whatever they need.
Furthermore
, they might face difficulty
while
arranging and organizing books and documents seem to consume as much as their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
disordered
Replace the word
disorder
show examples
and
messy
Replace the word
mess
show examples
being the main reasons.
Therefore
, Tidying in the office is an essential task for people.
Secondly
, the home is
also
important to clean as it helps to avoid some house mishappenings. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, if the living is not clean and neat and all the
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
place
leading to
Verb problem
there is
show examples
a high chance of a mishap in the inhibition.
Moreover
, especially in the kitchen
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a range of dangerous tools like knives, scissors and so forth can become harmful and hurt anyone .
For instance
, toddlers are constantly crawling on the floor and putting anything
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their mouth with
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
repellent foods or poisonous.
This
seems to cause severe illness or even death.
Thus
, properly organizing residents is necessary . In conclusion , I believe that the community should be maintained clean and tidy in
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
and department to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time and deter serious accidents.
Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses the importance of cleanliness both at home and in the workplace, which is relevant to the prompt. However, some sentences are unclear or incomplete, affecting your overall task response. Make sure to express your ideas clearly and provide a more detailed discussion on why cleanliness is important in both settings.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring your essay. Additionally, the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Consider organizing your points more cohesively, using transition words to connect ideas and ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: