IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the western world, many schools are providing vocational training to students at young age aiding them to secure a decent position in any organisation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the rest of the children still stick to the regular schooling method.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will discuss why it is important for schools to implement
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 skill development programs as a part of academics. On one hand, general academia can be monotonous and boring. Eventually,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 method of teaching can make children lose interest in their studies.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, young minds feel more stress in the name of education.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In the USA, many surveys revealed unanimously that 90 per cent of dropouts are leaving school because of a lack of interest in education and the regular schooling system.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 results in drop-outs being capable of nothing.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teaching practical skills works better because it acts as a simulation to the real-time settings. so, students will be benefited in future. Hands-on experience provides great knowledge and confidence in any subject allowing a child to discover their inner capabilities and interests.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a child who discovers his or her interests at a young age is more likely to gain placement in the field he or she is passionate about.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 method
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 helps in saving time in choosing the field of work. In conclusion, skill-based training is more advantageous because it helps children pick careers of their choice and grab a job. whereas, general academic schooling can be too boring to continue education. After analysing the benefits of skill development programs schools should engage their students to learn them along with studies that
helps
Change the verb form
help

The singular verb helps does not appear to agree with the plural subject studies. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
 them to shape their future chances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training programs
  • curriculum
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication skills
  • career guidance
  • counseling
  • internships
  • apprenticeships
  • local industries
  • businesses
  • digital literacy
  • technological skills
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: