IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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There is an opinion that a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 plays a bigger role than
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
 with it. Getting a high profit gives people great benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as good housing conditions, buying quality things, and getting all the necessary services.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with it, because working for
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 time without enjoying
work
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, a person quickly loses interest in it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think it is important to find a
job
Use synonyms
 that you like, and in the
future
Add a comma
,future
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 a person will grow as a professional and,
accordingly
Linking Words
, his income will grow. In fact, there is a lot of truth that a high
salary
Use synonyms
 means a wide range of financial opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, it is unlikely that we can be completely satisfied with our life, having all these expensive things. Enjoying what you love makes our lives better.
For example
Linking Words
, I
work
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 in the Committee of the Tourism Industry, and many of my colleagues started their careers as ordinary workers. They
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 a small
salary
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 for a long time.
However
Linking Words
, they were inspired by their
work
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, as it is
very
Add an article
a very
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 interesting field. They have brought a lot of ideas to the development of tourism and, now, they are constantly making a lot of efforts to develop
this
Linking Words
 industry. Their
work
Use synonyms
 was noted and they were promoted in their careers.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, their wages increased. Taking into account all of the above, I'm convinced that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is more important than a good
salary
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, people will perform their assigned roles excellently if
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 conditions are created that give pleasure
from
Change preposition
to
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work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an employee who feels motivated will
work
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 and achieve good results than someone who has a large reward, but
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doesn't feel motivated. In conclusion,
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction, in my opinion, is more serious than a high
salary
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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