IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

With fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#pace #life #people #food #meals
In
this
 fast-paced world, people are increasingly consuming
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
. Regarding
this
, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of eating
fast-food
 overwhelm the benefits. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that eating fast food is efficient. As a significant number of people suffer from hectic
skedules
Correct your spelling
schedules
, cooking is time-consuming for them.
Moreover
, main meals are not affordable for dwellers who live in developing countries since they do not have enough money to buy various food.
Therefore
,
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 is the best option for them.
On the other hand
, chemicals
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are used
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
fast-food
 causes health problems. Preserves which are used to save ingredients for a long time are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 kids who have
athma
Correct your spelling
asthma
 and allergies.
In addition
, MSG which makes good
tasts
Correct your spelling
taste
tastes
 causes headaches and cancers.
For example
, a survey conducted by
Korean
Correct article usage
a Korean
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 revealed that toxic
chemials
Correct your spelling
chemicals
 have
found
Add a missing verb
been found
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 almost 30% of
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
. As the example clearly illustrates,
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 is
junk-food
Correct your spelling
junk food
show examples
 which brings about physical health issues. In conclusion, while I accept that eating
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 can sometimes be
usuful
Correct your spelling
useful
, there is no doubt to point out that the demerit of it is more serious than the merit as some health problems are irreparable.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: