IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries it is illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Different countries have different
legislations
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legislation
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. Some countries have a law to restrict
people
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 of a certain
age
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 to
work
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 in some fields. That kind of
restrictions
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restriction
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 may benefit the jobs that require physical fitness, but other intellectual works can have no
age
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 boundary,
therefore
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, I believe
such
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 laws have positive as well as
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a
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negative development.
To begin
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 with,
firstly
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,
human
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the human
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 body starts to function less with
growth
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the growth
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of
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apply
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an
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apply
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age
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. A person in his teens is more active and energetic than a person
at
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in
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 his late sixties. So, many physical works
such
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 as construction jobs, a law, abiding the citizens of physically incapable
age
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 to
work
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, has
great
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a great
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 advantage.
For instance
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, in Australia, workers aged more than 45 are avoided
to do
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doing
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 heavy lifting
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 in the construction industry.
Moreover
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,
such
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 laws help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
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 to get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
opportunity
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opportunities
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. On
othe
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the
other hand
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another hand
other hands
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,
an
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apply
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age
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 is just a number in some jobs.
In other words
Linking Words
, a person gets proficient with the
age
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,
therefore
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,
age
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-restricting laws on
a
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apply
show examples
work
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 would disadvantage
to
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apply
show examples
some
people
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 who are professional in their
work
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, despite being old aged.
For example
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,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
driving is one of the skills that gets developed with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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time. Considering only
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
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 can drive a vehicle would be a mistake in many ways.
In addition
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, old
people
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 are greater at dealing with challenges because of their experience and qualification. In conclusion,
age
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 can not deny
people
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 from performing their job. Making a law that illegalizes some old
people
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in
Change preposition
from
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 applying for a job may help to create
opportunites
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opportunities
 for young
people
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 and
economic
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the economic
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 development of a country,
however
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,
an
Change the word
their
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 experience,
qualification
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qualifications
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, and qualities of them, should
also
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 be taken into consideration.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • inclusive workplace
  • workplace diversity
  • workforce experience
  • equality in hiring
  • age-related stereotypes
  • demographic changes
  • economic growth
  • social security systems
  • consumer spending
  • non-discriminatory policies
  • bias
  • fair practices
  • retirement age
  • intergenerational collaboration
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