IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
Good
health
 and
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 are essential to humans life. To
this
 effect, I strongly agree all nations of the world should have a free primary healthcare system to cater for the immediate illness of
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 citizens. Nowadays, the rate of sicknesses and diseases is alarming.
Death
Correct article usage
The death
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 toll increases rapidly by the day.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
persons
Replace the word
people
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 are limited due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of funds to carry out medical treatment on themselves,
as
a
Remove the article
apply
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result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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 humanity is alarmingly decreasing.
Furthermore
, hospital bills are extremely expensive for the common man to employ their services. In
this
 regard,
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
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 amount of citizens
resort
Change the verb form
resorts
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 to
self medication
Add a hyphen
self-medication
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to a more severe ailment and sometimes death.
Although
, modern medical apparatus, treatment and medicine may not readily be available to patients at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government clinics and hospitals. It is paramount for
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
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 to provide 'a
no
Add the preposition
with no
show examples
 pay' immediate treatment to the citizens as a means of managing the
health
 of a patient whilst proper
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
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 will be done with respect to seeing a medical consultant or a doctor
to
Change the verb form
apply
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tend to the derailing
health
 of the individual. As the saying goes " a stitch in time saves nine".
This
 act will reduce the financial burden on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Provision
Correct article usage
The provision
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 of free
health
 care will help a country to be highly productive and do exceedingly great economically. Every country should and must have
a free
Correct the article-noun agreement
free health facilities
a free health facility
show examples
health
 facilities.
Submitted by stefneybonomi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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