IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Small companies should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying for maternity leave later on To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

There is no denying the fact that having a full-time job is crucial in the world of inflation, where prices of goods, products and services are increasing drastically. It is crucial for working
women
Use synonyms
 to actively contribute to the family budget. Pregnant mothers should have equal
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to
work
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. To embark, small start-ups have limited resources so the
work
Use synonyms
 generally gets divided among people and the recruiter looks for candidates who specialise in multi-tasking, which is generally not possible for pregnant mothers because their doctor advised them to avoid physical
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the income of the small companies is usually low, due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of clients
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 results in
scarcity
Correct article usage
a scarcity
show examples
 of funds. Low-income jobs are obviously not accepted by pregnant
women
Use synonyms
 as they need money for survival. Time commitment is another issue which utmost
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 for the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small companies and pregnant
women
Use synonyms
 have to follow their diet schedule makes them
undeserving
Add an article
an undeserving
show examples
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
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 for the company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are deserving, hardworking candidates who
work
Use synonyms
 overtime for the company to succeed. They are clearly seen working during unsociable hours apart from a nine-to-five schedule. Small companies feel secure to provide job opportunities to
women
Use synonyms
 who are punctual.
On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
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 there are several
Correct your spelling
women
women's
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 who are role models and
inspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
inspirations
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 to pregnant
women
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 Tv stars who shoot for their films even when they are pregnant. To conclude, small or large firms should not judge someone, be inequitable.and
instead
Linking Words
 they should focus on the output they can provide to turn into a successful company.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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