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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children who spend alot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #alot #time #story #books #activities
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Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 likes to read comic
books
,But it is considered by many that the pupil should not read a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
 of
story
Correct your spelling
storybook
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
,it is waste of time.
Instead
 of
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
book
Add a comma
,book
show examples
 they should do some
advanture
Correct your spelling
adventure
 activities.I disagree with the notion
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large extent,my viewpoint will be elaborated
further
.
To begin
 with, there are many merits of reading,the foremost one is reading a
story
books
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early age will improve a child"s
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 ability.To
explaint
Correct your spelling
explain
 it,regarding it they can learn a new vocabulary new words,
also
 improve reading speed.Stduent can improve grammer skill.
Moreover
,reading makes them a good
dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
show examples
 as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of knowledge.
For example
, the famous writer Luis mark had read
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thousands of
books
 in
childhood
Correct pronoun usage
their childhood
his childhood
her childhood
show examples
 after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 he becomes a good writer.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
a story
show examples
story
Correct your spelling
storybook
show examples
book
 gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace of mind. Explicate it,after
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
 day studying subjects
such
 as science,history as well as math they tired.
Hence
,comic
books
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 and fresh.
For instance
, a majority of pupils have found that comic
books
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 them more happiness rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
an outdoor activities
Correct the article-noun agreement
outdoor activities
an outdoor activity
show examples
.
On the other hand
,it has some demerits.
Firstly
 if a child does not know
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
 reading method and put
book
 near eyes it might be
a damage eyes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a damage eye
damage eyes
show examples
 and
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 of glasses.
Also
, the result
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 affected by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
too much reading,if they would put all times on
story
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 they cannot put focus on school subjects.
For instance
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 was revealed in past 60% of
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are
spendig
Correct your spelling
spending
 more 5 hours on reading comedy
books
 they get
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 marks in exams. To sum up, many people find it
story
Correct your spelling
storybook
show examples
book
 is not
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
good for students,it can take.But I largely believe that it is the best way to get relax
as a result
, it gives lots of knowledge,vocabulary,
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 skill.
Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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