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Band 5.5

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #society
It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that becoming old is a drawback in contemporary society as they cannot adapt to a new environment.
However
, regarding
this
, others assert that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 old
people
 is getting easier since they are wiser than
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
.
This
 essay will outline why they support both sides and suggest factors that should be taken into consideration. On the one hand, since older
people
's bodies are increasingly weak, they are not able to adapt to a fast-paced world. Despite
of
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apply
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the fact that various electronic devices and
machinary
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machinery
 has been invented by cutting-edge technology,
elders
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elders'
elder's
show examples
 lives have
beome
Correct your spelling
become
 more complicated as it is hard to learn new changes for them.
For example
, recent media in Korea reports that almost 40% of seniors give up
to learn
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learning
show examples
 how to use
elctronic
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices because it is hard to see small letters on a tiny screen, and they tend to easily become tired owing to a
bluelight
Correct your spelling
blue light
. As the example clearly illustrates, getting old means an
unefficient
Correct your spelling
inefficient
 means of adapting to contemporary society.
On the other hand
, since the old has lived longer than the young, they ease to interact with others wisely. Due to the development of technology, the way how to communicate with others has changed, thereby leading to communication issues
such
 as cyber-threatening and cyber-bullyings. Regarding
this
, a significant number of young
people
 are
concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
 about the difficulties of relationships. In terms of
this
, as old
people
has
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have
show examples
 already experienced a lot of things in their lives, they know what
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 up being
meningful
Correct your spelling
meaningful
 and pointless.
However
, I believe that it is hard to live in
this
 day and age for all age groups.
Hence
, if they support each other, they can easily live
this
 era. What is more, it can reduce the generation gap between the old and the young.
For instance
, while
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 teach old
people
 how to operate each machine, seniors can tell wise stories to teens in order to overcome bullying.
Therefore
, it is reasonable to point out that being old with help might be not a matter to live
in
Change preposition
in in
show examples
 modern society. In conclusion, while I accept that living in
fast-paced
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a fast-paced
show examples
 world is difficult for all age groups including old
people
, there is no doubt to point out that helping each other can be a key factor in living easily.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
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