IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country rather than living as a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?

Different kind of
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
is help
Change the verb form
is helping
show examples
 to learn something new and live with happiness. Few
people
Use synonyms
 argue
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should accept the new foreign
culture
Use synonyms
 on behalf of
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 alone or separate. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and I will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, new
culture
Use synonyms
 and
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 lifestyle
is give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enjoyment and happiness
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 different
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
as well as students
Add the comma(s)
, as well as students,
show examples
 are going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas countries for higher education and work. If they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 accept their
culture
Use synonyms
 so,
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 possible too hard to live. Because,
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 atmosphere and festivals, all are different
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 us. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 should adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign festivals. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, many countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 own festivals and
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 of
Add an article
the festival
show examples
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 totally different and fully enjoyable like Diwali,
holi
Change the capitalization
Holi
show examples
, and makarshankranti.
However
Linking Words
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
visit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India and enjoy our festival. So
this
Linking Words
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 sign for,
built
Change the form of the verb
building
show examples
 a better relationship between the two countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreign
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are domesticating our Indian religion.
For
Change preposition
To
show examples
 illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indian
people
Use synonyms
 believe in
Correct your spelling
Vaishnav
Vaisnava
vaisnav
Correct article usage
the vaisnav
show examples
 religion.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 simultaneously some foreign
people
Use synonyms
 like Russian and Canadian
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
also
Linking Words
 adopt the
vaisnav
Correct your spelling
Vaishnav
Vaisnava
 religion because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, in
this
Linking Words
culture
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 get
internal
Correct article usage
an internal
show examples
 soothing and
happiness
Replace the word
happy
show examples
 life. To conclude, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 or
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 give to peaceful
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
 and soothing life, so
people
Use synonyms
 must adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 for
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 life.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • assimilate
  • social cohesion
  • integration
  • navigating the job market
  • cultural preservation
  • sense of belonging
  • heritage
  • multiculturalism
  • cultural landscape
  • support network
  • transition
  • multicultural society
  • mutual respect
  • cultural identity
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