The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilize to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

#graphs #gadgets #individuals #age #categories #tv #channels #canada

The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories

utilize

Wrong verb form

utilised

show examples

to watch

channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019. In 2009 a lot of people

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

using conventional

which was 34% of total usage.

However

, it dramatically

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined more than 8 times by 2019 because of new technology development. In comparison with traditional

, Flat screen

consumption

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rapidly increased over 3 times between 2009 and 2019. In

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of healthy

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sight effect and size improvement, the Flat screen

has been developed faster. The devices

such

as mobile phone, and desktop computers has risen by 11% and 6% respectively. The proportion of tablets increased by almost 5

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

from 5% to 19%.

In addition

, amount of percentage for

Add an article

the tablet

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

has significantly slumped

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with

Add an article

the smart

show examples

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

due to

Correct article usage

the more

show examples

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

to watch

and video. Most of

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

for the conventional

has shifted to other devices, especially to the Flat

Submitted by ronald.delacruz12 on Thu Apr 07 2022

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

163 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrate
gadgets
utilized
age categories
watching TV channels
comparison
popularity
notable trends
increase/decrease
devices
decade
advancements in technology
user preferences
speculation
future trends
conclusion
implications
technology and media companies
lifestyle
habits
target age group

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The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilize to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, some employers thought formal academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for new employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think individuals cannot do anything to make the environment different, others think they can. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your next-door neighbor likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to your neighbor. In your letter Describe the situation Explain the problem it is causing you Offer at least one solution