The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilize to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

#graphs #gadgets #individuals #age #categories #tv #channels #canada

The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories

utilize

Wrong verb form

utilised

show examples

to watch

channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019. In 2009 a lot of people

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

using conventional

which was 34% of total usage.

However

, it dramatically

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined more than 8 times by 2019 because of new technology development. In comparison with traditional

, Flat screen

consumption

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rapidly increased over 3 times between 2009 and 2019. In

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of healthy

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sight effect and size improvement, the Flat screen

has been developed faster. The devices

such

as mobile phone, and desktop computers has risen by 11% and 6% respectively. The proportion of tablets increased by almost 5

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

from 5% to 19%.

In addition

, amount of percentage for

Add an article

the tablet

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

has significantly slumped

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with

Add an article

the smart

show examples

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

due to

Correct article usage

the more

show examples

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

to watch

and video. Most of

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

for the conventional

has shifted to other devices, especially to the Flat

Submitted by ronald.delacruz12 on Thu Apr 07 2022

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

163 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrate
gadgets
utilized
age categories
watching TV channels
comparison
popularity
notable trends
increase/decrease
devices
decade
advancements in technology
user preferences
speculation
future trends
conclusion
implications
technology and media companies
lifestyle
habits
target age group

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The graphs below illustrate the gadgets individuals in the 18 to 25 age categories utilize to watch TV channels in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+