IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employees #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Many organizations ask job applicants for relevant
information
 related to
work
 experiences and educational attainment. Sometimes, they ask more personal questions like hobbies and interests. Some people feel that it is irrelevant and should not be asked.
However
, others feel
otherwise
. An integral part of an interview is to determine the capabilities of an individual that are appropriate for the job offered. Others feel that education and past
work
 experiences are sufficient to gauge their fitness for the
work
.
For example
, data gathered from an employee stating that he was a graduate from an Ivy-league university and has extensive job-related experience is adequate enough to be hired.
Furthermore
, irrelevant and personal
information
 could pose security issues if hackers get a hold of these data.
In addition
, an individual might not feel at ease at
work
 because topics that she considered sensitive were divulged.
On the other hand
, some individuals feel that other personal
information
 about a person is
also
 necessary to determine personality and attitude towards
work
.
For instance
, a person who likes to play volleyball might mean that he is a team player and
thus
, will
work
 great along with other workmates.
Similarly
, a man with multiple divorces could indicate that he cannot stay in one place and might keep switching jobs.
As a result
, the long term repercussions of hiring the employee are evident. Still, I believe that there should be a limit to how much personal
information
 can be asked to prevent any security problems and other unforeseen issues. To conclude,
although
 education and
work
 experiences are necessary for job interviews, I agree that to some extent, it is
also
 imperative that some personal data can be obtained only to determine appropriateness and dedication to
work
.
Submitted by masolosam16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: