IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employees #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many organizations ask job applicants for relevant
information
Use synonyms
 related to
work
Use synonyms
 experiences and educational attainment. Sometimes, they ask more personal questions like hobbies and interests. Some people feel that it is irrelevant and should not be asked.
However
Linking Words
, others feel
otherwise
Linking Words
. An integral part of an interview is to determine the capabilities of an individual that are appropriate for the job offered. Others feel that education and past
work
Use synonyms
 experiences are sufficient to gauge their fitness for the
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, data gathered from an employee stating that he was a graduate from an Ivy-league university and has extensive job-related experience is adequate enough to be hired.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, irrelevant and personal
information
Use synonyms
 could pose security issues if hackers get a hold of these data.
In addition
Linking Words
, an individual might not feel at ease at
work
Use synonyms
 because topics that she considered sensitive were divulged.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals feel that other personal
information
Use synonyms
 about a person is
also
Linking Words
 necessary to determine personality and attitude towards
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who likes to play volleyball might mean that he is a team player and
thus
Linking Words
, will
work
Use synonyms
 great along with other workmates.
Similarly
Linking Words
, a man with multiple divorces could indicate that he cannot stay in one place and might keep switching jobs.
As a result
Linking Words
, the long term repercussions of hiring the employee are evident. Still, I believe that there should be a limit to how much personal
information
Use synonyms
 can be asked to prevent any security problems and other unforeseen issues. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 education and
work
Use synonyms
 experiences are necessary for job interviews, I agree that to some extent, it is
also
Linking Words
 imperative that some personal data can be obtained only to determine appropriateness and dedication to
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by masolosam16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: