IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security
A surveillance security system was developed to reduce crime, proven effective in some regions.
Although
, some would argue that
this
 measure prohibits public freedom.
This
 essay will discuss the advantageous existence of installed video
cameras
 and their detrimental effects on society. I
also
 ought to discuss my perspective and explain why I stand on its overall beneficial purpose. When
people
 notice
cameras
 in the area, they tend to be cautious because they know that they are being watched, but how about hidden
cameras
? There are circumstances when camera
operators
 become prejudiced against
people
 by race, skin colour, and religion. They tend to be fixated on
people
 wearing Muslim attire and those called black
people
. In other cases, watchers who control the camera are allegedly threatening
people
 who have a potential risk of being punished for a misdemeanour. These circumstances usually happen to
operators
 who are prejudiced and unprofessional. Despite the aforementioned drawbacks, I acknowledge the purposeful function of surveillance technology and that it outweighs its negative consequences. If
operators
 are professionally trained, they can deliver their utmost service to ensure that a nation is safe. Their most significant intent is to prevent terrorism, and they carefully study the behaviour and condition of a place before forming a conclusion. There is no stereotyping and only investigation. Other essential things are reducing criminality and preventing suicide attempts. Saving lives and lessening illegal activities are vital aims that innovation can guarantee for the human race. In conclusion, while
people
 are uneasy when
cameras
 are around, camera
operators
 are
also
 sometimes prejudiced.
Nevertheless
, public safety is by far a paramount priority.
Submitted by esternonwena123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: