Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is currently a contentious argument over whether or not
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
should be treated equally in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
job
Use synonyms
sector.
Although
Linking Words
I think
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
or the military
job
Use synonyms
is burdensome for
women
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe that
women
Use synonyms
and
men
Use synonyms
should be selected for a
job
Use synonyms
based on their capabilities.
This
Linking Words
essay will not only shed light on both perceptions but
also
Linking Words
my point of view will be elaborated in the conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought.
To begin
Linking Words
with, a multitude of people argue that
women
Use synonyms
and
men
Use synonyms
should be given equal
job
Use synonyms
opportunities rather than considering
men
Use synonyms
superior
than
Change the preposition
to
show examples
women
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because in
this
Linking Words
period of
modernity
Add a comma
modernity,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
are actively taking part in karate, weightlifting, swimming, and wrestling which shows their mental and physical strength
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
utmost importance when joining the public force.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study held at Stanford University found that
women
Use synonyms
with great
mentality
Replace the word
mental
show examples
and physical fitness can serve a country better than
men
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is argued that
women
Use synonyms
are incompetent for public force
due to
Linking Words
its difficulty level.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
considered unsuitable on the
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
that they are delicate and fragile humans. A plethora of people
also
Linking Words
believed so because of their backward mindset.
For example
Linking Words
, a poll run by the UK Government showed that only
men
Use synonyms
could take part in the police and the military in Iran, restricting
women
Use synonyms
to homes because they are biased. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
my perspective,
women
Use synonyms
hold equal rights as
men
Use synonyms
thereby they should be given similar opportunities despite the kind of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fatihairshad86683 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views, considering the strengths and weaknesses of each perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, with well-structured paragraphs and clear topic sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: