Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #men #job #police

There is currently a contentious argument over whether or not

men

and

women

should be treated equally in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

job

sector.

Although

I think

police

Add an article

the police

show examples

or the military

job

is burdensome for

women

, I firmly believe that

women

and

men

should be selected for a

job

based on their capabilities.

This

essay will not only shed light on both perceptions but

also

my point of view will be elaborated in the conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought.

To begin

with, a multitude of people argue that

women

and

men

should be given equal

job

opportunities rather than considering

men

superior

than

Change the preposition

show examples

women

This

is because in

this

period of

modernity

Add a comma

modernity,

show examples

women

are actively taking part in karate, weightlifting, swimming, and wrestling which shows their mental and physical strength

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

utmost importance when joining the public force.

For instance

, a recent study held at Stanford University found that

women

with great

mentality

Replace the word

mental

show examples

and physical fitness can serve a country better than

men

On the other hand

, it is argued that

women

are incompetent for public force

due to

its difficulty level.

Moreover

women

are

also

considered unsuitable on the

ground

Fix the agreement mistake

grounds

show examples

that they are delicate and fragile humans. A plethora of people

also

believed so because of their backward mindset.

For example

, a poll run by the UK Government showed that only

men

could take part in the police and the military in Iran, restricting

women

to homes because they are biased. In conclusion,

according to

my perspective,

women

hold equal rights as

men

thereby they should be given similar opportunities despite the kind of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Submitted by fatihairshad86683 on Sat Apr 16 2022

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task response

Provide a more balanced discussion of both views, considering the strengths and weaknesses of each perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, with well-structured paragraphs and clear topic sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

It is responsibility of the developed countries to provide aid to the developing countries. Do you agree or disagree.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

In many professional sports, the use of banned substances to enhance performance is on the rise. what are the causes and solutions