IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

you have seen an advertisment in the newspaper for a temporary job working as a sales represantatives

#advertisment #newspaper #job #sales #represantatives
Dear High Manager. I am writing
this
 letter to apply for the position of Sales representative advertised in a newspaper on April 24th I am a twenty-two-years old student at present. I am in my
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 year studying economics
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at Moscow State University. I am very keen to have a holiday job
this
 summer. I consider myself to be hard-working, enthusiastic,
motivated
Correct word choice
and motivated
show examples
. I believe the position you offer will give me the opportunity to develop my skills,
widen
Correct word choice
and widen
show examples
 my knowledge. During my
last
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
holidays
Add a comma
,holidays
show examples
 I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worked in the Articon, which specializes in selling frozen foods. I feel that my experience in sales makes me well suited for
this
 position My current session will finish
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in May and I am free until the end of the August I will be pleased to supply any
further
 information you require. Yours faithfully, Sara James
Submitted by geor.kamarauli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: