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Band 4.5

Some people say smoking should be banned on public places. To what extent do u agree or disagree?

#people #places
Nowadays it is a general trend to consume tobacco, whether at the home or in places like a smoking
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
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. It is fact that
people
 smoke in
an
Correct article usage
apply
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open
areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
area
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 which disturbance other public in many ways.
Therefore
,
this
 essay tends to agree that smoking in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 should be completely restricted.
First
 of all, the consumer does not care about the harmful effect that
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 to him or her or other human beings.
This
 is an open invitation to diseases that damage body parts as well as cancer. It is reported that about half the proportion of cancer patients were active smokers. Despite the dangerous effect of smoking,
people
 still can not avoid tobacco. The other reason is be believed that sharing the cigar can cause the chance of infecting with the covid virus. In the pandemic issue, the awareness by the authority was to stop smoking as infection can
be boost
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boost
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 weakening the immune system ,but
also
 damaging the
respiratorary
Correct your spelling
respiratory
 system where
people
 face a lot of obligation while breathing. In spite of the natural causes created by humans, the level of toxic air consumed by an individual who is not a smoker is a possibility to hurt .
Secondly
, it will have consequences for the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 like pollution. Smoking leads to decreasing the natural air like oxygen as toxic chemicals are released into the air.
In addition
, the plastic cover which is used to protect the cigar leads to pollution like burning them , in lakes or seas harming the aquatic animals. Youngsters fall into the addiction to tobacco
as
Correct word choice
because
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 it can spoil the future. Even though there is an age restriction while buying
Correct your spelling
cigarette
cigarettes
cigarrette
Correct article usage
a cigarrette
show examples
, there is illegal selling of it.
Therefore
, the government should take strict action who violates the law and implement find against them. Some
people
 argue that their privacy is disrespected as by smoking they get
reliefed
Correct your spelling
relieved
relief
 from stress. It completely wrong statement ,
people
 can keep
entertain
Wrong verb form
entertained
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 with other activities
such
 as listening to music, playing sports activities or watching
a
Correct article usage
apply
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comdey
Correct your spelling
comedy
 shows. In conclusion,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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avoiding
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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 may help human life by preventing deadly diseases and
casuing
Correct your spelling
causing
 problems to
Correct article usage
the environmental
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environmental
Replace the word
environment
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 like pollution.
Hence
, banning smoking in public can be more beneficial to the
people
Submitted by jithinphilip10 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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